15
Dec
2009
7
Dec
2009
There is no topping on my pizza ASDA!
By Mike. Posted in Digital Life, Humour, Music, True Story | No Comments » | 194 views
22
Nov
2009
Crack in an Airplane Window. Scary Stuff!
By Mike. Posted in Did you know?, Holiday, Humour, Travel, True Story | 1 Comment » | 360 viewsThis is scary for anyone who travels frequently by plane!!!!
Actual crack in a US Airways DC-9 window frame!
Fliers beware of the sub standard maintenance on the airplanes that you fly on.
This is an actual crack that was found in the window frame on a DC-9.
I’ll definitely think twice before flying USAir.
19
Nov
2009
The Real Guitar Hero – Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major.
By Mike. Posted in Music, Reaction, True Story, videos | No Comments » | 278 viewsHave you seen this video? I don’t know the full story behind the making of it, but it goes something like this;
There was this competition where contestants were asked to add their musical talents to the famous piece of music by German Baroque composer Johann Pachelbel. It was originally scored for three violins and basso continuo and paired with a gigue in the same key. (Information on Johan Pachelbel from Wikipedia).
This kid Matt Rach and his guitar came up with the following:
The video is just over 5 minutes. Watch it, it’s truly incredible.
“Crazy” lyrics written and sung by Simple Plan. A good song for our modern day living. So many sad truths in those lyrics. I love the song though. I discovered Simple Plan through Last.fm
Tell me what’s wrong with society
When everywhere I look I see
Young girls dying to be on TV
They wont stop ’til they’ve reached their dreams
Diet pills, surgery
Photoshop pictures in magazines
Telling them how they should be
It doesn’t make sense to me
Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what’s going on?
Tell me what’s going on
If you open your eyes
You’ll see that something is wrong
I guess things are not how they used to be
There’s no more normal families
Parents act like enemies
Making kids feel like it’s world war III
No one cares, no one’s there
I guess we’re all just too damn busy
Money’s our first priority
It doesn’t make sense to me
Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what’s going on?
Tell me what’s going on
If you open your eyes
You’ll see that something is wrong
Is everybody going crazy?
Is everybody going crazy?
Tell me what’s wrong with society
When everywhere I look I see
Rich guys driving big SUV’s
While kids are starving in the streets
No one cares
No one likes to share
I guess life’s unfair
Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what’s going on
Tell me what’s going on
If you open your eyes
You’ll see that something
something is wrong
Is everybody going Crazy?
Can anybody tell me what’s going on
Tell me what’s going on
If you open your eyes
You’ll see that something is wrong
24
Jul
2009
One of the reasons Mummy won’t let Charles be king.
By Mike. Posted in Humour, True Story | No Comments » | 171 views
1. Teaching maths in 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100..
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100..
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?
2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?
3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?
4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20..
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.
6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling license. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for
harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution,
breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.
Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?
7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Iceland and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.
The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.
Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a
bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.
The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus’s are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.
12
Jan
2009
Have you seen what the perfect job is?
By Mike. Posted in Australia, Travel, True Story | No Comments » | 249 views
Job Description:
- Live on an island that is warm all year round
- Feed the fish
- Clean the pool
- Collect the mail
Pay Package:
Australian Dollar $150,000 (£68000) for the six-month contract.
Other Benefits:
- return airfares from your nearest capital city (in your home country),
- accommodation and transport on Hamilton Island,
- travel insurance for the contract period,
- computer, internet, digital video and stills cameras access,
- plus travel to a number of the other Islands of the Great Barrier Reef.
Start Date:
Contract commences 1st July 2009.
Sounds £#$*ing incredible!
Check out the best job in the world website and download the job description if you are interested. You’ve got 41 days before they close applications.
It’s important in life to reach out, to strive for greater achievements, to go for that greener grass that is on the other side of the fence. But one must also be careful.
Sometimes you can reach too far!
But when you find yourself over-extended and you’re stuck in a situation that you can’t get out of, there is one thing that you should always remember…..
Not everyone who shows up is there to help you.
Moo Moo Moo
16
Nov
2007
